Showing posts with label dyfunctional beliefs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dyfunctional beliefs. Show all posts

January 24, 2011

Materialism Examined



Happiness means wanting what you have not having what you want, is a paraphrase of the former Rabbi from Houston, Hyman Schnactel's inspirational message.  

Turns out, there's research backing up this idea, more or less.  There are even blogs devoted to this theme.  Now you know you can bank on an idea if someone is blogging about it (wink).   
 
Materialism and mass consumerism are concepts we hear a lot about in the news. We hear ranting against the trend of buying more and more stuff, especially costly stuff  -- electronic gadgets, designer clothes, and trendy, luxury vehicles (one in particular comes to mind, rhymes with bummer) to name a few. Spend too much time around materialistic people, or label droppers, and you might find yourself developing subtle feelings of discontent, irritability and a case of what I call the wants. What my parents called the gimmes.  

A couple years ago I listened to an interview with Dr. Tim Kasser talk about his research on the psychology of materialism, a body of literature I didn't know existed until I heard him speak.  His findings indicated that the higher people rate materialistic goals (also known as "extrinsic" goals) as important, the less happy they were and the lower their quality of life. Materialistic goals include making more money, owning more stuff, engaging in high status pursuits, etc. 

Kasser said that the more people buy into messages of "consumer society," the less satisfied they were with their lives, the less self-actualized they report being. Materialistic goals are also correlated with more symptoms of depression and anxiety. His findings are the same between females/males, the old/young, the rich/poor and across cultures.

Materialistic desires were associated with lower empathy, being more manipulative, more Machiavellian, and the preference for competitive rather than cooperative strategies. Their relationships are more conflictual and shorter lived.

Additional research interests of Kasser's were cited such as looking at the relationship between materialism and "ecological well being." Not surprisingly, materialistic people leave higher ecological "footprints" and are less likely to engage in eco-friendly behaviors (recycling, energy conservation).  

Kasser concludes that people who live in more simplistic ways are happier. 

Kasser then went on to talk about a concept known as time affluence, something we Americans don't have much of compared to other western nations. We work nine weeks more per year than Europeans, fourteen weeks more than Scandinavians. Over the decades, our work week has been expanding and we become less and less time affluent. We have less down time, less time with our families, hobbies, exercise, vacation. 

Time affluence, then, is also associated with greater happiness. Again, it's not how much we can buy, it's how much we engage in pleasurable pursuits.

All of this to say, when you are feeling down about out-of-style clothes, dated electronics, that used car you just bought, or home decor that will never be showcased in House Beautiful Magazine, remember that living a simpler life can leave you with a much bigger abundance in intrinsic wealth. 



Is it working yet?   

December 6, 2009

Out, Out, Belief System!



One important therapy tool in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is exploring thoughts and beliefs that contribute toward an emotional or mental health disorder.

Thoughts can be viewed as relatively simple ideas or statements that guide our self-talk. For people suffering from depression, for example, these thoughts tend to run toward negative, discouraging themes. They may seem quick and random, such as,


I'm never going to get this right!

Or, What is wrong with me?

Or, There's no point in trying.


Cognitive therapy involves paying attention to these automatic negative thoughts, or cognitions, and coming up with healthier alternatives. That is, ultimately changing them or replacing them with more accurate, positive, uplifting, and/or calming thoughts.

Often, in therapy, we CBT psychologists look a little deeper for underlying belief systems that influence our clients' moods and actions.



These belief systems, or beliefs, for short, can be made up of a single powerful statement, such as the following examples,


I'm destined for failure.

I can't say no. I hate letting other people down.

Nobody will ever love me.

Something is wrong with me.


Or they can be made up of a series of thoughts that clump together:


Why is my life so hard? At this rate, I'll never get ahead. Why keep trying? It's no use. Every time I take one step forward, something happens that sets me back. I may was well give up.


Belief systems are typically made up of a complex pattern of thoughts that group together to feed and maintain the one, highly charged belief.

Let's take for example a common underlying belief found among people experiencing anxiety and depression symptoms:


Nobody loves me.

Or,

I am unworthy of love.


This belief is usually fueled by dozens or hundreds of smaller impact thoughts.


Look at me! I'm in terrible shape.

She won't come back, I just know it.

I need him. There is noone else out there for me.

I'm not going. What's the use? There's no point in trying to meet anyone.

I'll never find anyone else.

Why would anyone want to go out with me? I have nothing to offer.

I feel so fat and horrible.

I'm disgusting. No wonder he hasn't called me.


All of these thoughts could be related to the core, underlying belief, Nobody loves me. Or, I am unloveable.

One of the keys of CBT is uncovering dysfunctional belief systems, bring them to the light, and helping the client let go of their powerful hold, and move forward.

Sometimes dysfunctional beliefs are formed in early childhood. An abusive, neglectful parent can contribute to their formation. A group of teasing, bullying kids in the neighborhood can do the same.

Sometimes beliefs get started in adolescence or later in adult life, say, when a cherished lover or spouse is abusive, unfaithful, or abandons.

Whatever their origins, the good news is they can be outed and purged using CBT techniques.

More examples of dysfunctional belief patterns to come.

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