Welcome to the new year, 2026. Whether you are in the midst of a dry january or long time sober, if you were raised by someone who was a steady drinker or substance abuser, here are a couple recommendations for you. The first is Running on Empty by psychologist Jonice Webb, Ph.D.
Because virtually always, when a parent or guardian is abusing substances, especially dependency, the child's emotional needs go unmet. This lack of healthy nurturance can lead to a lifetime of feeling down, emotionally dysregulated, ineffective, unmotivated, and isolated. But with a better understanding of how and why these difficulties are present for you, that "it's not your fault," can put you on the path to a happier, more contented life.
The next book is the longstanding gold standard for the Adult Child of Alcoholics literature. It was written by Janet Woititz, Ed.D.
She has written several books on the topic including Struggle for Intimacy which is another strong recommendation.
Anytime starting a new group, I recommend attending at least three or four times (unless of course something is happeing in the group that is truly dysfunctional or scary). Three or four times because you want to see how the group operates over time, because maybe the first or second time was an "off" meeting, because perhaps people you can better relate to show up at the latter meetings. So much can be said about the value of listening and sharing with others who have been through similar, and often worse, circumstances growing up. Learning first hand, from the mouth of another struggling adult, that "it's not just me" can be such a healing experience.
