Self Care: Y'know It Don't Come Easy

Dr. Laurie Santos shared a fascinating insight on Dax Sheppard's podcast: Expert Armchair.

What you are motivated to get is completely separate from what you're actually going to appreciate once you get it. There is a part of your brain designed for wanting and craving, and another part of your brain that governs liking and satisfaction.

I'll give you some real world examples. Some people spend all of their time and energy working toward getting into that prestigious school. Other people strive to get a promotion at some competitive business firm. And then there are those who get their fix from junk food, sex, or psychoactive substances. The list goes on. People are designed to crave money, status, and instant gratification. But does the feeling of accomplishing these things last?

Most of us know that we will benefit from various acts of self care. For whatever reason, activities like exercise, journaling, and eating healthy take up a lot of mental energy.

Take meditation for instance, we know we'll feel better after we do it... but for whatever reason, most of us aren't naturally inclined to meditate. Instead, we might binge watch the latest series just to return to our rooms before bedtime feeling regret as we look at the overflowing stack of laundry in the corner.

The craving system and the liking system are disconnected. How awesome would it be if our brain was able to reset after noticing, "Hey! Meditating actually reduced my stress today. Let's crave it tomorrow!" But no. What's good doesn't come easy.

How inconvenient.

So, for those of you who think, "One day I'll want to go on that run!" Yeah, maybe. But probably not.

Just Do It turns out to be more than just a slogan.

Meanwhile, I'll be over here waiting for that day when we find out how to kick in that motivation some other way.

Why Does Weight Loss Have to Be So Hard?

We all know it is hard to pass on our favorite high-calorie foods. A struggle to limit portion size. Downright  daunting to get off the couch and stick to exercise goals. But these aren't always the hardest part of a weight loss plan. Keeping the weight off is usually the biggest challenge. Why is this? Learning more about the biology behind those re-appearing pounds is an important cognitive tool in the weight loss struggle. Many people find it helpful to know it isn't just me who finds themselves craving food, feeling less full, and losing less weight over time, despite reducing calories.

So do yourself a favor. Instead of that handful of cookies, grab a cognitive tool. Read My Fitness Pal's blog, Hello Healthy, for a breakdown of the physiological factors that interfere with long term weight loss. By understanding your body's hormonal changes, you can help yourself succeed over the long haul.

--Sandy Andrews, PhD 

Clinical Psychologist

Austin, TX

Depression Self Care

At least three all-important self-care routines get disrupted when suffering from depression:  Physical exercise, nutrition, and sleep.

Gabe Howard is an award winning mental health advocate and author of  PsychCentral's blog titled Don't Call Me Crazy.  He offers cognitive behavioral (CBT) suggestions for maintaining physical health while battling depression, here.

One piece of nutritional advice, for example, is the very simple, very accessable, and very affordable step of drinking more water; Not giving up comfort foods, not going vegan, not in any other way drastically altering your diet.  Just the small step of drinking a glass of clean, healing water.

Doable.

One small step for wo/man, one giant step for recovering.

https://erinraeart.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/003.jpg    "depression" painting by 

Sandy Andrews, PhD  is a Clinical Psychologist / Therapist who provides CBT in Austin, Texas  

Is Stress Hurting You? Or What You Think About Stress?

One area of expertise common to most CBT psychologists is stress management.  A new study sheds light on one cognitive aspect of stress.  Standford University psychologist Kelly McGonigal suggests that what we believe about stress, and how we respond to stress, predicts how harmful it is to our health  Signs of stress, such as elevated heart rate, sweating, muscle tension, and throat constriction is a sign of our body's strength, our body's way of mounting a defense against the worrisome event, our body's campaign to succeed in the face of something scary.  When we are taught to see stress as a good thing?  The risk of harm caused by stress goes way down, perhaps disappears.

So the next time you're studying for that test and are freaking out because you waited too long?  Feel that adrenaline pumping through your body and believe that it's there to help you study better, remember more, and ultimately pass the class.

Watch Dr. McGonigal talk about letting stress be our friend, HERE.

Sandy Andrews, PhD is a Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist who practices CBT in Austin, Texas

depression anxiety dysfunctional  relationships toxic relationships divorce stress lonely making friends help therapy therapist 

Diet Tip in the New Year

Dr. Aaron Beck, M.D., known worldwide as the father of Cognitive Therapy, and his daughter, Dr. Judith Beck, Ph.D. psychologist founded The Beck Institute at the University of Pennsylvania.   Dr. Judith Beck is also the author of The Beck Diet Solution, a book that provides cognitive and behavioral weight loss strategies.

The Beck Diet Solution website emails dieting tips taken from her book.  Since it's the new year and many of us make resolutions to get healthy and lose weight, I thought I'd post the most recent suggestion. It features a cognitive approach to addressing one of the most frustrating aspects of dieting:  relapses or slips.   It also illustrates a core cognitive principle of thought replacement.


Recovering from Mistakes Immediately: A Key to Weight Loss and Maintenance Success

Dieters often make resolutions this time of year to lose weight and keep it off. Many dieters have made this same resolution in previous years and have ultimately not been successful.  One of the biggest stumbling blocks that dieters face is getting back on track after a dieting mistake, often because they say to themselves things like:

I've made a mistake. I've really blown it for the day. I might as well keep eating whatever I want and start again tomorrow.  

But it takes most dieters much longer to get firmly and consistently back on track -- perhaps a week, a month, or even a year. As a result, they likely gain back any weight they had lost.

We teach dieters many techniques to get back on track after making a single eating mistake.  One such technique is the use of analogies to demonstrate that making one mistake is not a valid reason to continue making more mistakes.  For example, we might say:

If you were walking down a flight of stairs and stumbled down a few, would you think, "Well, I've really blown it now!" and throw yourself down the rest?

If you were washing your fine china and dropped a plate, would you throw the rest of your plates on the floor?

If you were driving on the highway and missed your exit, would you continue to drive 5 more hours in the wrong direction?

We help dieters see that it makes no sense to compound one eating mistake with a second (or more). Once they accept that all mistakes, even dieting mistakes, are a part of life and learn how to recover from them right away, they're able to lose weight and keep it off without disrupting and undoing their hard work and weight loss achievements. 

A Week for Women

This is a big week for women.  Today is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.   Every 9-1/2 minutes an American is infected with HIV.  We don't hear as much about HIV prevention these days but the threat lives on.

You can help spread the word and Rock the Red Pump. Please check out the website, sign up, promote HIV protection on your blog, Twitter or Facebook and encourage those you care about to be safe.

Also this week, the 10th anniversary of International Women's Day.  This year's theme:  Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women.  

Why even have a women's day, you might ask?  Aren't women equal by now?  One fact that stood out for me in this video: 

 "Women are responsible for 2/3 of the work done worldwide 
yet own only 10% of the total income and only 1% of the property."


Please watch this video, below, to see Daniel Craig in drag to learn more eye-opening statistics: 

We still have a long way to go.  This week and every week, promote equality and safety for women.

Understanding Chronic Pain

The causes of chronic pain come in many shapes and sizes.  Sometimes chronic pain stems from recurring migraine headaches.  Sometimes it's lower back pain caused by a range of problems with the spine.  Chronic pain can result from a serious injury that fails to heal completely or following surgery.  Other conditions associated with chronic pain include arthritis, TMJ (temporo-mandibular joint), fibromyalgia, endometriosis, pudendal neuralgia, and repetitive strain injuries.  

Regardless of the cause, people who suffer from chronic pain often feel misunderstood by their friends and family.  Typically during the initial phases of an illness pain sufferers receive sympathy and understanding .  After a long period of prolonged pain, however, it is common for loved ones to appear uncaring and "tired of" the patient's persistent complaints of pain, particularly in the midst of decreased functioning.  Unable to help with household chores, attend social functions, or participate in recreation activities formerly shared with others, chronic pain patients begin to feel like a burden.  It is not unusual to feel blamed for the persistence of their condition.  Losing the support of loved ones is one of the most emotionally distressing aspects of chronic pain.  

Given the importance of feeling understood, I am sharing the following letter written to help enlighten people close to the person suffering from chronic pain.  The letter was previously posted on the HOPE website (Health Organization for Pudendal Education).  

LETTER TO PEOPLE WITHOUT CHRONIC PAIN:

Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed.


In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand …


These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me…


Please understand that being sick doesn’t mean I’m not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don’t seem like much fun to be with, but I’m still me– stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, my family, my friends, and most of the time – I’d still like to hear you talk about yours, too.


Please understand the difference between “happy” and “healthy”. When you’ve got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I’ve been sick for years. I can’t be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you’re talking to me and I sound happy, it means I’m happy. That’s all. It doesn’t mean that I’m not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I’m getting better, or any of those things. Please don’t say, “Oh, you’re sounding better!” or “But you look so healthy!¨ I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you’re welcome.


Please understand that being able to stand up for ten minutes doesn’t necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn’t mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you’re either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one, it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.


Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, “sitting”, “walking”, “thinking”, “concentrating”, “being sociable” and so on … it applies to everything. That’s what chronic pain does to you.


Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It’s quite possible (for many, it’s common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I’ll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don’t attack me when I’m ill by saying, “But you did it before!” or Oh, come on, I know you can do this!” If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are–to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.


Please understand that “getting out and doing things” does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don’t know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise, or do some things to get my mind off of it¨ may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct if I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don’t you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that hurts is, “You just need to push yourself more, try harder…” Obviously, chronic pain can deal with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can’t always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn’t you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression.
Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/stay in bed/or take these pills now, that probably means that I do have to do it right now – it can’t be put off or forgotten just because I’m somewhere, or am right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.


If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don’t. It’s not because I don’t appreciate the thought, and it’s not because I don’t want to get well. Lord knows that isn’t true. In all likelihood, if you’ve heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we’d know about it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It’s definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.


If I seem touchy, it’s probably because I am. It’s not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding in general.


In many ways I depend on you – people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out…


Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or to the store. You are my link to the normalcy of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to undertake again, just as soon as I am able.


I know that I have asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.


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