freedom

There are many reasons I am a big proponent of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Chief among them is the freedom to overcome the unhappy elements of our past.

Freedom to decide that, at this moment, change begins.

Freedom to let go of our former selves.

Freedom to let go of patterns that bring us distress.

Freedom to move forward into wellness.

Today marks 20 years of another, equally profound, form of freedom. Freedom from political oppression.

Twenty years ago today the Berlin Wall came down.

Twenty years ago today 16 million people were united with the west.

How is Germany celebrating?

A long string of dominoes mark the former placement of the wall. Germans will line the colorful wall and watch as the dominoes fall, one by one.

An angel watches over the Berlin dominoes:

The celebration began one month ago when giant marionettes walked through Berlin:

You can see more pictures documenting the event, here.

Congratulations, Germany! Wir gratulieren!

decide not to decide

Indecision by Pat Kumicich

It is quite common for people to enter therapy in the midst of a crisis. They want answers.

Is my marriage over?

Cognitive therapy is all about replacement thinking. A cognitive therapist will listen for faulty or dysfunctional thinking patterns that are contributing toward a client's lowered mood, anxiety, anger, or indecision.

And sometimes those problematic thoughts are questions. Especially questions whose answers involve major life decisions. Upheaval.

My job is horrible! Should I quit now or find a new job first?

One calming thought replacement is decide not to decide. At this moment, anyway. Perhaps for an undetermined period of time, if the situation allows. Give yourself the time to make a more informed decision.

I'm not happy here. Should I move back to the West Coast?

First we must explore whether there is an urgency to decide now. Many, if not most, of life's crises do not require immediate action. They may, at some point, require a decision. But right now? Not usually. And hasty decisions are often the source of regret or self-doubt down the road.

My neighbors are so toxic. Is it time to move?

What crises typically do require is calm and thorough deliberation. Careful consideration of the options available. Analyzing the situation so that we know what we're dealing with. Generating a range of steps to take before making a drastic change.

By the time someone has entered the therapy room, however, they are often worked up into a frenzy or feeling overwhelmed to the point of depression. They are not thinking clearly. They cannot focus. They are unable to come up with creative solutions. They're engaged in black or white, all or none, thinking.

So rather than focus on making the decision, we want the client to slow down, calm down, reduce the stress, increase the self care, and decide not to decide.

Concentrate on self-soothing. Take care of yourself until you are in a position where you can carefully assess the available information, until it can be gathered in a calm, deliberate and accurate manner. And then reflected on without haste. Seek opinions from respected experts or someone who has been in your shoes.

Slow down.

Get some good sleep.

Regroup.

Think of my options.

List pros and cons.

Consult with colleagues.

Get some support.

Take a walk.

Take deep breaths.

And full exhales.

Again.

And again.

Give myself the time to decide.

In good time.

Decide not to decide.

Until I am ready.

finding friends

In my last post, I talked about being new in a city and the struggle to find friends.

Years ago, I read a research study dealing with social support. It found that the variable most predictive of a friendship developing between any two people was, simply, time spent together. Not common interests, like I guessed. Not same background or religion. Not age. Not level of education.

Greater length of time spent in each other's company was the factor most associated with friendship bonding. Either long periods of time in one space (think weekend workshop or jury duty) or repetitive intervals across time (weekly art class). Time that allows for talking and getting to know each well enough to break down the barriers and move to a point where calling each other for a get together feels acceptable. Safe. And eventually easy.

I wish it were faster. I wish we could attend a party, walk up to someone new and say, "Hi. I overheard your conversation and you seem like someone I could be friends with." But this rarely happens. It might have been this easy in kindergarten. The older we get, though, the longer it usually takes. We grown ups are a leery lot.

Place of employment is a common venue for making friends. We can see the "time spent together" factor at work here. Many of my clients in this friendless predicament report the social scenerio at their jobs is lacking They might have made slight inroads or none. "Everyone is married." Or, "They're all older than me." Or, "They all do the bar hopping scene. I don't like bars." When friends don't arise in the work place, it can lead to looking around and wondering, "Now what?"

Well, here's one idea for the now what. Remember this one goal: Put yourself into situations where you are likely to see the same people again and again.

Visiting a museum one afternoon is not going to cut it. Signing up for a book club where the same people will be meeting week after week might.

What kind of situations? Start with an interest. A hobby. A creative outlet. An athletic pursuit.

What do I like to do? What am I interested in doing that I've never done before? What have I long wanted to try but haven't made the time to do so? Gardening? Creative writing? Volley ball? Woodworking?

Thumb through the newspaper in the local/metro or life section. Check out informal classes or adult education available at nearby colleges. Read over the available class schedules as a way of getting ideas or jogging your memory: photography, landscaping, stained glass, salsa or country western dance, yoga, walking tours, home improvement, bridge, dominoes.

Look for events that meet repeatedly, once/week or every other, where it seems likely you'll see the same faces on a repeat basis. A one-time seminar on a Saturday is better than sitting home and meeting no one. But a class or support group that meets regularly is a better bet for getting in the time needed to develop a friendship.

Some venues encourage interacting, such as team sports, creative writing classes, support groups, walking clubs. Others are more of a solitary pursuit. Avoid the latter. We want to optimize our recreation and volunteer time. Go where the opportunity for getting to know others is made easy.

The beauty of my plan is this: Even if your pursuit doesn't result in friends, let's say you're not interested in anyone who shows up, you are spending time doing something entertaining, challenging, and fun. You might be learning something.

Another benefit? You become more interesting this way. So when you do meet someone who has friendship potential, you're more likely to have something to offer. To be found friendship worthy.

So starting with something you're interested in is one friendship finding avenue. I'll have more to offer in a later post or two.

feeling friendless

Living in a large city, I see quite a few people coping with transition. One of the common requests for an initial appointment will go something like, "I'm new in town," or "I've lived here a year," followed by their complaint, typically something to do with depression or anxiety.

Many clients, particularly those beyond their mid-20's, are shocked, at a loss, or somewhat ashamed when they realize they are struggling in the friendship department.

Maybe they were used to making friends easily. Or they remember that reaching out to make friends never was easy but they somehow stumbled into a group of chums.

And now they find themselves feeling friendless. They start to feel the panic rise. How do I do this? Where do I start?

At some point in therapy, it becomes apparent to me that they are struggling to establish friends. It might take us awhile to reach the stage where we decide the client needs to target socializing. It's seldom a problem area people feel comfortable bringing up on it's own. People feel awkward admitting their lack of affiliation. The worry about the stigma of appearing friendless. The fear of being judged as a social dud.

In therapy we explore the client's friendship history. How did they make friends in the past? Did it feel easy or was it a struggle. What types of friendships did they enjoy? Close confidantes or more distant acquaintances? Feel a part of a close knit group or often like an outsider looking in?

We often talk about the ease of making friends in high school and college, in particular. Life surrounded by hundreds or thousands of same-age, similarly situated peers. Mostly single, working part-time jobs, flexible schedules, with a variety of clubs and avenues available to study, exercise and socialize. To make friends. Dorm life is a friendship building tool for the asking. Close to campus apartment living is another. Potential friends all around, within arms reach, even.

Sometimes friends come in a bundle. A sports team. A choir group. Or we start to date someone and they have a big group of friends. We like them, spend a lot of time with them, and gradually they become our friends, too. Though not always easily. This wriggling into and feeling accepted by a pre-existing set of friends can feel difficult for many. Especially when their friendships seem to go back to their days in the nursery. It's a situation ripe for feeling odd-person-out.

Which brings me to relationship break-ups and divorce. These are transitions where friendships are often lost. Partners exit and take their friends with them. You see this in a large group of couples. After the break up, maintaining friendships with those remaining in the couples club is a logistical nightmare. Seeing and hearing about the ex can be too painful. Too close a reminder of what is lost. Learning about their new dating interests. Ouch.

Sometimes the friends appear to take sides. Or they don't know what to do and in their uncertainty, fail to reach out. This can really hurt the person left behind. Loss on top of loss can leave someone with profound self doubt, feeling sad and lonely.

It is well documented in the research literature that socializing on a regular basis is associated with physical health and emotional wellbeing. Feeling connected and cared about, laughing and going places together, keeping busy, exercising together, having someone to confide in. These are all benefits of friendships. It is no wonder, then, that finding oneself in a suddenly-friendless situation is associated with the onset or exacerbation of depression, anxiety, or a number of psychological conditions.

So how does one go about finding friends, exactly? Stay tuned. In my next post we'll talk about the goal of meeting new people and making friends.

this is your brain on stress

The New York Times reported on a Portugese study which demonstrated that persistent stress changes the structural makeup of the brain. And not in a particularly helpful way.

According to Dias-Ferreira and his colleagues at the University of Minho, brains under chronic stress show an increase in the neurological pathways associated with doing familliar, repetitive, rote kinds of responses, even in the absence of success.

Think of the end of an intense and tiring work week. You find yourself channel surfing, up and down, dozens of times, even though you know nothing is on.

Circling around the kitchen, searching various cabinets, fridge and freezer for a salty/sugary/creamy treat, coming up empty each time.

Then there's the supervisor who schedules yet another staff meeting where the same, tired ideas are passed around, the same ineffectual instructions are issued. Where everyone leaves muttering, "Why do we think it's going to work this time?"

According to the article, brains under longterm stress also show a decrease in neurological connections in "regions of the brain associated with executive decision-making and goal-directed behaviors."

A shortage of problem solving circuitry, in other words. The light bulb burns out. We stop thinking creatively. We shrink away from new and different ways to respond. Instead we retreat into old, familliar and comfortable habits.

We get ourselves into a big, fat, rut. (Pass the Oreo cookies, please?)

The good news is, relaxation helps undo these stress induced changes. Taking brisk walks. A friendly game of hoops. Talking it out with supportive listeners. Thinking positively. Deep breathing. Contemplating nature. Getting away for the weekend. Creative outlets. Good nutrition. A full night's sleep, or two, or three. Exercise. Meditation. Yoga.

So turn off the TV. Stop circling the kitchen. Do something different. Step outside and take several rounds of full inhales and full, emptying exhales. Gaze at the stars. Resolve to get to bed earlier and engage in a healthier self care routine. Talk more respectfully and assertively to loved ones and co-workers. Eventually (four weeks, in the case of the rats in the study) your brain can revive and new connections can branch out.

Recharged, you might just find that the light bulb flickers back to life.

Six Psychology Myths

Cracked doesn't exactly have a reputation for scientific journalism. But they hit the nail on the head with their six mistaken facts, therein referred to as BS, about psychology that people tend to believe. And spout off at cocktail parties when they don't know they're talking to an actual psychologist.

You can read the whole piece here and I urge you to do so because the writers at Cracked have a way with words that I can't duplicate here.

But I'll summarize:

BS #1: So angry you want to smash something? Think you'll feel better afterwards?

Fact*: Don't. It won't help and will probably lead to more anger down the road. We're better off managing our anger, controlling it, letting go of it, deep breathing and changing the way we think about the situation that is leading to our anger. Less anger is better than "getting it all out" in some kind of aggressive rage. Kind of undercuts one of the selling points of Sarah's Smash Shack. Sorry, Sarah. (But I still wouldn't mind giving it a shot.)

BS #2: You can do anything you want to do as long as you believe in yourself.


Fact: Better success can be had with learning self improvement skills. Take lessons. Practice. Practice some more. And yes, work on improving your self-image while you're at it. Drop negative self-talk. Give yourself affirming messages. But increasing your "self esteem" alone? Probably not gonna cut it, unless you already have a good skill set.

BS #3: People who join cults are naive idiots.

Fact: Cult members are no less smart, on the whole, than you or me. Cults target people who are in transition, vulnerable, feeling desperate, and in need of social affiliation.

BS #4: Subliminal messages cause us to buy things we don't want or need.

Fact: Nope. There's no conclusive evidence that it works.


BS #5: Lie detectors work.

Fact: Slightly better than flipping a coin, yes. Which means, too many times it says we're lying, when we're not. There are ways to beat polygraphs. There are variables that interfere with producing reliable results. They're not admissable in court and with good reason.


BS #6: All homophobes are secretly gay.

Fact: Again, no real evidence supports this widely circulated belief. People who hate or fear homosexuality report a range of reasons. Yes, there are some who are secretly harboring homosexual impulses and they are too ashamed to deal with it. But there are others who rant and rage for the effect or because they've grown up being fed a lot of negative messages about gays and lesbians, not because they're deep down attracted to same sex individuals.


*refers to what is widely believed in the psychological community at this moment in time.


Image source: John Malkovich in Burn After Reading (see it for his performance alone).

Pleasant Events List

When someone is experiencing a sad, down, angry, lonely, or otherwise lowered mood, one tip that can help is to consult your own personal Pleasant Events List.

Below is a long list of Pleasant Events. It was compiled from a variety of sources, some of which I no longer recall. But I do remember a co-therapist telling me she gathered lists generated by clients in a former therapy group she ran. I kept most of the list intact, even when I was puzzled by the content. Different people find different activities uplifting (cleaning the bathroom, being one).

The list is meant as a starting point: A list of ideas that will help you generate a list of your own. So that you can write your own personalized list of activities and thoughts you find pleasant, fun, funny, joyful, entertaining, relaxing, soothing, or in some other way, mood-lifting.

So I post this list in the hopes that readers will be inspired to read it, to do some of the things on the list, or to merely think about doing some of the things on the list, to leave a comment with some new pleasant event that can be added to the list, or to generate a new list of your own. Best of all, generate readily do-able, easily accessable, easily affordable events.

Sometimes I suggest, before reading the list, that you rate your mood on a scale of 1 to 10, where:

1 = feeling very down or "low"

and

10 = feeling really happy or "up"

Then, after you have finished reading the list, rate how you feel once again. Any change?

PLEASANT EVENTS LIST

1. Soaking in the bathtub

2. Looking at the stars

3. Feeling the wind in my hair

4. Collecting things (coins, shells, etc)

5. Going on vacation

6. Thinking how it will be when I finish school

7. Recycling old items

8. Going on a date

9. Sitting under a shade tree

10. Going to a movie in the middle of the week

11. Jogging, walking

12. Thinking I have done a full day's work

13. Listening to music

14. Recalling past parties

15. Buying household gadgets

16. Lying in the sun

17. Planning a career change

18. Laughing

19. Thinking about my past trips and vacations

20. Listening to others tell happy stories

21. Reading magazines or newspapers

22. Hobbies (stamp collecting, model building, etc.)

23. Spending an evening with good friends

24. Planning a day's activities

25. Meeting new people

26. Remembering beautiful scenery

27. Saving money

28. Looking at clouds and imagining different shapes

29. Going home from work

30. Eating my favorite dessert

31. Practicing karate, judo, yoga

32. Thinking about retirement

33. Repairing things around the house

34. Working on my car (bicycle)

35. Remembering the words and deeds of loving people

36. Wearing sexy clothes

37. Having quiet evenings

38. Taking care of my plants

39. Buying and selling stock

40. Going swimming

41. Doodling

42. Exercising

43. Collecting old things

44. Going to a party

45. Lighting a scented candle

46. Playing golf

47. Playing soccer

48. Flying kites

49. Having discussions with friends

50. Having family get-togethers

51. Riding a motorbike

52. Having sex with myself or someone else

53. Running track

54. Going camping

55. Singing around the house

56. Arranging flowers

57. Practicing religion (go to church, praying, etc)

58. Losing weight

59. Going to the beach

60. Thinking I'm an OK person

61. A day with nothing to do

62. Having class reunions

63. Going skating

64. Going sail boating

65. Traveling abroad or in the United States

66. Painting

67. Doing something spontaneously

68. Doing needlepoint, crewel, etc

69. Sleeping

70. Taking a drive in the country

71. Entertaining

72. Going to clubs (garden, support groups)

73. Thinking about getting married

74. Going hunting

75. Singing with groups

76. Flirting

77. Playing musical instruments

78. Doing arts and crafts

79. Making a gift for someone

80. Buying CDs

81. Watching boxing or wrestling

82. Planning parties

83. Cooking

84. Going hiking

85. Writing poems, articles or books

86. Sewing

87. Buying clothes

88. Going out to dinner

89. Working

90. Discussing books

91. Sightseeing

92. Gardening

93. Going to the beauty parlor

94. Early morning coffee and newspaper

95. Playing tennis

96. Kissing

97. Watching children play

98. Thinking I have a lot more going for me than most

99. Going to plays and concerts

100. Daydreaming

101. Planning to go to school

102. Thinking about sex

103. Going for a drive

104. Listening to a stereo

105. Refinishing furniture

107. Making lists of tasks

108. Going bike riding

109. Walks in the woods (or the waterfront)

110. Buying gifts

111. Traveling to national or state parks

112. Completing a task

113. Collecting shells

114. Going to a spectator sport

115. Eating comfort foods

116. Teaching

117. Photography

118. Going fishing

119. Thinking about pleasant events

120. Staying on a diet

121. Playing with animals

122. Flying a plane

123. Reading fiction

124. Acting

125. Being alone

126. Writing diary entries or letters

127. Cleaning

128. Reading non-fiction

129. Taking children places

130. Dancing

131. Going on a picnic

132. Thinking "I did that pretty well"

133. Meditating

134. Playing volleyball

135. Having lunch with a friend

136. Going to see the mountains

137. Thinking about having a family

138. Thoughts about happy moments in my past

139. Splurging on a fun treat, such as a fruit smoothie

140. Playing cards

141. Solving riddles mentally

142. Having a political discussion

143. Playing softball

144. Seeing and/or showing photos or slides

145. Playing guitar

146. Knitting

147. Doing crossword puzzles

148. Shooting pool

149. Dressing up and looking nice

150. Reflecting on how I've improved

151. Playing online video games

152. Talking on the phone

153. Going to museums

154. Thinking religious thoughts

155. Lighting candles

156. Listening to the radio or stereo

157. Getting an email message from someone you've lost touch with

158. Saying "I love you"

159. Thinking about my good qualities

160. Buying books

161. Taking a sauna or steam bath

162. Going skiing

163. Going sailing

164. White-water canoeing

165. Going boating

166. Doing woodworking

167. Fantasizing about the future

168. Practicing ballet or tap dancing

169. Taking a drive on a pretty road

168. Debating

169. Sitting in a sidewalk cafe

170. Having an aquarium

171. Erotica (sex books, movies)

172. Going horseback riding

173. Thinking about becoming active in the community

174. Doing something new and challenging

175. Completing jigsaw puzzles

176. Thinking I'm a person who can cope

177. Falling in love

178. Laughing so hard your face hurts

179. A hot shower

180. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside

181. A long distance phone call

182. A bubble bath

183. Giggling

184. A good conversation

185. Going to the beach

186. Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter

187. Laughing at yourself

188. Midnight phone calls that last for hours

189. Running through sprinklers

190. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all

191. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful

192. Laughing at an inside joke

193. Friends

194. Overhearing someone say something nice about you

195. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep

196. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner)

197. Making new friends or spending time with old ones

198. Playing with a new puppy

199. Having someone play with your hair

200. Sweet dreams

201. Hot chocolate

202. Road trips with friends

203. Swinging on swings

204. Drinking a cup of herbal tea

205. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along

206. Going to a really good concert

207. Making eye contact with a cute stranger

208. Winning a really competitive game

209. Making chocolate chip cookies

210. Eating chocolate chip cookies, fresh out of the oven

211. Spending time with close friends

212. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends

213. Holding hands with someone you care about

214. Running into an old friend and feeling like you've never parted

215. Riding the best roller coasters over and over

216. The expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present

217. Watching the sunrise

218. Getting out of bed each morning, feeling grateful for another day

219. Turning off and tuning in to my self and being one with source

220. Blogging and internet surfing

221. Writing or receiving a hand-written letter or thank you card.

222. Taking a moonbath

223. Using tarot cards

224. Going to a gallery

225. Hunting around for beautiful images on flickr

226. Phoning up a friend and asking them to tell you a joke

227. Reader? Can you add a pleasant event?

Are you Shoulding on Yourself Again?

In the cognitive part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) we look for thinking patterns that get in the way of healthy feelings and behavior. Thoughts associated with unhappy feelings.

Sad, anxious, angry, shameful, hurtful feelings.

One of the easiest thoughts to identify and change are those that contain the word "should."

Should statements, as they are called.

You should go check on your neighbor. He hasn't been out much lately.

I should exercise more.

She shouldn't talk to her in that tone of voice.

Should statements are one form of automatic negative thoughts, or ANTS. Should implies that someone has done something wrong. Or bad. That someone behind you is shaking a finger, going, "tsk, tsk, tsk, bad person."

The shoulds are often immediately followed by subtle feelings of shame and guilt. Sometimes not consciously detected. But it's there. The essence of it. Building up throughout the day, if you happen to be a daily should-er. Many of us use should statements dozens of times a day, if not hundreds. Out loud or silently, to ourselves.

I should be able to figure this out.

She should be more careful.

You should buy the red sweater.

Shoulding on oneself. Shoulding on others.

The examples above aren't all that toxic, granted. But the effect is insideous. Disapproval. Judging. You're doing wrong. I'm unworthy. These feelings can add up. At the end of the day, we feel more stressed out. More hostile. More _____ (fill in the blank with an unpleasant feeling). Its cumulative. It adds up. I know this personally. I know this professionally.

Even the innocuous, commonly heard response to receiving an unexpected gift, "You shouldn't have!" It delivers an entirely different message when, instead, we say, "You are so thoughtful. Thank you."

How to remedy this common thinking error? In some cases, change should to want. Or wish. Or like.

I want to figure this out.

I wish she would be more careful.

I like the red sweater. I hope you buy that one.

The idea is to change the negative, judgemental idea to something with a positive message. Or more positive. More upbeat. More hopeful.

Below are a few examples that are a little more toxic. Try to change them yourself.

You should watch what you eat.

He should take better care of his car. We're not made of money!

I shouldn't be having these thoughts. She just died, afterall.

And how about the image at the top of this post. Vanity Fair cover of teen television star, Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana, of Disney Channel. Does this image of a 15-year-old bring up a should statement or two?

I don't know about you, but I feel slightly better when I say, "I wish young stars (and their agents) didn't feel pressure to pose in such a sexually suggestive manner." Instead of, "She should not be posing like that. What were her parents thinking?"

Working Out. Must Have Music.

When I work out, which is to say, when I climb on top of a stair master type contraption in order to get my aerobic exercise, I must have music. Or, better put, I greatly prefer to have music.

These days it's a small mp3 player. No, not an iPod. I can't afford one of those. Only my kids can. Go figure.

Working out with my favorite tunes, selected for their fast paced beat, I get a better workout. I don't think about how tired I feel, or how hard I'm breathing, or how my heart feels like it might explode out of my chest. The music entertains and distracts me. I work out longer and harder.

Today I got to the gym only to discover that I had left my mp3 player in my gym bag, on my kitchen table. Damn. It's always something that gets forgotten. If it isn't my towel, it's my bottle of water. Today it was my music.

I also like to read when I work out. Music plus reading material. I'm in that bad of shape, ya'll.

So I did remember my reading glasses. I grabbed an Oprah Magazine, picked a stairmaster that had one of those plexiglass book holders, found an empty eliptical machine between two gym rats, climbed on, hit QuickStart, and away I rode.

It was then I discovered another reason why I prefer earphones. The guy next to me.

My earphones block the sound of nearby exercisers. Heavy breathing, throat clearage, coughs, sputters, growls, grunts, and groans. And then there was the piped in muzack. Loud enough to be a nuisance, not loud enough to be of any incentive.

Reader, what helps you get a better workout?

night owls get a name and a test

One evening while walking along a pasture, I looked across toward a giant live oak tree. In the tree sat three large owls. They were perched on two branches, all in a cluster. They made the most picturesque silouette. Still as statues, all facing east, the sun setting behind them. Three sentinels waiting for the darkness to decend, harbingers of a post I had been working on about night owls.

I have long believed I am a night owl. Or as sleep experts would now say, I suffer from Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS).

"Delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) is a disorder in which a person’s sleep is delayed by 2 or more hours beyond the socially acceptable or conventional bedtime. This delay in falling asleep causes difficulty in waking up at the desired time...Most with DSPS describe themselves as "night owls" and say they function best or are most alert during the evening or night hours. If they were to keep a sleep log it would show short sleep periods during the school/work week (with few or no awakenings during the night) and lengthy sleep-ins (late morning to mid afternoon wake up times) on the weekend."

I can remember struggling with insomnia when I was in grade school, lying awake at night singing to my menagerie of stuffed animals. In high school, the singing was replaced by listening to late night radio, The Dr. Dimento Show being one of them. Due to my difficulty waking in the mornings, I was often late to school despite a five minute walk.

It seemed to become more pronounced over time. In college, as I chose my courses (no morning classes, thank you). In graduate school, I wrote the bulk of my dissertation between 10pm and 4am.

When I was offered a job in a psychiatric hospital I was told by the HR staff: "The only problem is that the hours are 4pm-10pm."

Problem? What problem? I loved it. I earned extra pay for late shift, even. I left my job in plenty of time to hit the college pubs, which really didn't get hopping until 11pm anyway. Close the place down and sleep in. Ahhhhhhh. Fit me to a tee.

I recall feeling energetic during this period of my life. I exercised enthusiastically. Typically a walker, I started to jog.

I knew this nirvana night schedule couldn't last forever, though. Eventually I did a one year internship at a medical setting, for example. It required the standard 8am-5pm hours. Oh dread. It about killed me.

But I was hopeful, deciding this was a good experiment: early morning wake up call, everyday, for a whole year. While it did get a bit more tolerable once I caved to the earlier bedtimes, it never, ever, EVER, felt easy. Or natural. I hated mornings as much as always.

So this confirmed night owl wasn't exactly surprised when she learned that researchers identified a particular gene, a mutation, they call it, that determines circadian rhythm. But she did feel vindicated. No, I'm not lazy. No, I wouldn't wake up easier if I'd just go to bed earlier. Okay, well maybe that one is true.

Naturally it's described as a mutation, rather than a variant of normal. But that's okay. I, and plenty of other night owls, have lived our lives feeling like we missed the normal boat.

Back to the gene. The night owl gene was first identified in a mouse, and later in more mice.

This mutation was kindly named the "after hours gene" (AFh). Very aptly named, I would argue, since it's a universally accepted, scientifically verified truth that things happening "after hours" are way more fun and exciting than things happening, say, at 7am (snore).

Everyone wants an invitation to the after hours party, right?

And now one more giant step for night owls. It's been announced there is an official test we can take, a simple mouth swab, to determine if we are, in fact, a morning lark or a night owl.

For more information about night owls, check out the DSPS blog.

Image source: owls, here.